The Silence and the Song

From The Book of Queens


In a far away land, in the desert by the sea, there was a girl known to all as Azadeh. She was a spirit in the wind, a leaf in the river, following the song of life wherever it led her. And one day, she felt the song itself swelling in her chest. It grew and grew and grew until she could no longer contain it within her being.

So she walked to the edge where the sand met the sea and parted her lips. The most beautiful song emerged, carrying with it the pain of her mothers, her grandmothers, and their mothers before them. The song shared their stories, intertwined with that of the earth itself, of root and stone and salt water. So powerful and potent was this song that by the time the final note slipped from her lips, the pain of all her ancestors was gone,  transmuted by her voice, and only love remained.

The nearby villagers heard Azadeh's ballad and had come to witness. They wept without knowing why, and felt lighter for it.

Among those who heard was the mountain dweller, Kaveh. He heard the song from his caves and came down to the sea not to receive it, but to put an end to it. For its sound was too painful for him to bear. Its melancholy, beautiful as it was, stirred something within him that he was not willing to face. A wound he had long since buried under stone. So he sought out Azadeh, and when he saw her singing that beautiful melody against the sunrise, he knew he would have to silence her. But with too many people as witness, he retreated to his mountains to formulate a plan.

His plan was this: to pose as a friend, a guide, a mentor. To worm his way into her mind and convince her that her voice was too raw, too unrefined, too loud for the world. He planted seeds of doubt in the fertile soil of her sensitivity. Who are you to sing like that? What right do you have? He praised her in ways that shrank her. He questioned her in ways that confused her. He made himself necessary, and he made her afraid.

And slowly–in the way that a fire dims not all at once but rather quiet ember by quiet ember–Azadeh became a shadow of herself. She stopped singing at the shoreline. She stopped singing in her home. She stopped humming as she walked. The ancestors, feeling the severing of the thread, grew restless. Strange winds came to the village. Old griefs rose to the surface. Children dreamed in languages they did not know.

Then one day, when she had all but forgotten the sound of her own voice, Azadeh happened upon a pomegranate lying in the sand. This was odd as it was not the season for it. She turned it in her hands, feeling the heft of it, and took a bite. And she was plunged into a vision.

She was met by a great lion, amber-eyed and powerful in its stillness. It regarded her without urgency, the way truth does when it has been waiting a long time. And it told her plainly what she had not yet been willing to know: that she had been deceived. That Kaveh had not come to guide her but to extinguish her. Because he could not bear the thought of her light outlasting his own. That he had taken her voice, and in doing so, had taken her power to heal what needed healing.

The lion said: You are the thread. Without you, the weave unravels. Go to the sea, call upon your ancestors with your song. Draw an evil eye in the sand to purify your light.

Azadeh woke with pomegranate seeds still on her tongue, red as blood and sweet as honey,  and she understood everything. She went to Kaveh where he waited by the sea, an uneasy calm enveloping her. She walked to the water's edge and drew an evil eye in the wet sand. And she opened her mouth and sang.

The song was different now. It held not only the old grief of her bloodline but the grief of her own years of silence. She sang it all: the weight of all she had swallowed and doubted, and the person she became in the wake of another's fear. She sang until the air itself trembled. She sang until the evil eye in the sand shimmered and sealed, until Kaveh's shadow shortened and shortened and was gone, until the mountain itself was still.

And the song moved outward in a great ripple across the land to every house, every door, and every sleeping and waking thing. It sent the ancestors of all the villagers home to love, sending a lightness to settle over everything and everyone.

For this, the villagers named Azadeh their Queen. For being, not a woman who had never known silence, but a woman who found her voice again in spite of silence itself. For being, not a woman with great power, but a woman who used her power to bring love into the land. And for being, not a woman of noble blood, but a woman with nothing in her heart but a more than noble song.